SHIT

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 20:47:24 GMT

so am i right to understand that love can only really be found once someone is making money enough to support a self that seems reliable enough to make money, and support a self??? ideological bums are still bums to you people, i know, but why dont specifics matter more? or am i just ugly and dont know it? all this concerns jeff the ego, who i am knowingly acting as...this ego needs some love damnit

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 01:57:32 GMT

if you wanna see passive aggressive behavior in its finest, try finding a ride from the valley to somewhere on a friday night

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 02:38:49 GMT

im tired of dealing with parents who fuck up on having kids before they actually know themselves

anybody else have the realization that your parents are more full of shit than you thought you were?

and by full of shit, i mean, acting like you know "whats going on" when you really dont

ive turned the entire world into an us vs them based on the dichotomy of their shit

when the fuck do i get to live my life free of rationalizations and constant emotional maintenance?

im 24 and im in my parents house writing on livejournal...anyone else uncomfortable?

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 23:19:21 GMT

ugh alone alone alone alone, someone kill the fuck out of me

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 08:57:15 GMT

animal collective prospect hummer ep, doooo itttt

Sat, 10 Oct 2009 22:53:38 GMT

feels good to feel good

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 03:24:44 GMT

me too

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 21:36:54 GMT

antony and the johnsons, subway to the hollywood bowl, world music, then drunk = good day?

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 05:30:17 GMT

the guitar at 2:32 in this song captures the sadness of existence, for me, atleast

fuck, i cant move out of LA

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 19:02:08 GMT

Oct 3rd - Elvis Perkins @ The Troubadour
Oct 8th - And Youll Know Us By The Trail Of Dead @ Henry Fonda Theatre
Oct 13th - Mono @ The El Rey
Oct 14th - Bob Dylan @ The Palladium
Oct 15th - Dan Deacon @ The Echo
Oct 18th - Brand New w/Manchester Orchestra @ The Palladium
Oct 20th - Grizzly Bear/Beach House @ The Palladium
Oct 23rd - Daniel Johnston @ Caines in San Diego
Oct 24th - Weezer @ The Palladium
Oct 24th - Daniel Johnston @ Henry Fonda Theatre
Oct 24th - Islands @ The Troubadour
Oct 29th & 30th - Built to Spill @ The Echoplex
Nov 4th & 5th - Pixies @ The Palladium
Nov 5th - R.Kelly @ Nokia Theatre
Nov 6th - Mum @ The El Rey
Nov 21st - Terry Riley, Matmos , Chronos Quartet @ Walt Disney Concert Hall
Dec 3rd - Baroness @ The Troubadour

i need a companion to go to these shows and feel profound with, otherwise i go and get bummed (yet simultaneously validated) for being there alone...wtf, im 24

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 17:11:31 GMT

fuck fucvk fuck

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 16:59:43 GMT

RESISTINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Sun, 20 Sep 2009 08:24:35 GMT

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 18:40:34 GMT

to make a current or "usual jeff", mix equal parts loneliness, depression, anger, fear, longing, despondence, mental claustrophobia and long running frustration, bake Jeff in a bong no earlier than 5:00pm unless you want him drowsy all day...for a fresh Jeff, try not baking till its dark

for another version I like to call "beneficial jeff" substitute all that with some post-modern positivity, acceptance, nostalgia, an actual employable sense of humor, not weirding people out, not being too much, and some bomb love

not to be redundant, but you really do have to "make" your life, otherwise you'll end up dreamin about the same shit over and over, you'll forget to pay parking tickets and you'll make bullshit lists like this

i know the answer to "whens it gonna be different?" is "when you make it different" but goddammit...i dont have it in me right now

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 04:59:50 GMT

peace like a river

someday

Sat, 12 Sep 2009 23:54:31 GMT

inspired by a friend who did this very same thing, im gonna be collecting all the random stuff ive written over the years...as much as i can possibly gather of shitty lyrics and assignments and live journal entries and anything, and put em together and print them for people to read...friends, i mean

more for gathering my own shit so i can remember who ive been the past bunch of years, its pretty hazy sometimes naw mean?

blurp blurp blurp radiohead in rainbows fuck!

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 19:59:25 GMT

how the fuck are you all doing it? like, living, i mean

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 09:42:45 GMT

is it possible to maintain a harmonious feeling with life but also be indifferent towards it? i think so

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 10:13:04 GMT

nine inch nails palladium set was despondent, introspective aggression personified - an undeniably relatable work of art, bravo trent!

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 21:47:58 GMT

never ever ever ever gonna figure it out

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 21:31:44 GMT

can i please get fucked by something other than this matrix system of dysfunction and intentional hardship? a girl, possibly

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 16:39:03 GMT

if i dont get the job im interviewing for today im ~~fucking killing people~~, no just if i dont get it then i got nothing to do but continue to look, and id probably rather eat my desk, so ill probably bring my sorry self to SF and Humboldt for a couple months instead - wish me imaginary help!

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 14:48:15 GMT

waking up with the suffocating awareness that i spent two years living in san francisco for free, living the isolated life i did, not realizing how many experiences i could be open to...woke up and realized ive been alone for so fucking long and cant help but to just want to hurt on that for a while...all the meaning or experience ive had over the past 5 years has all been on my own, with only the obsessive, residual details of young love to make me feel like i wasnt completely fucking up...but i was, i just couldnt do anything about it that i wasnt already thinking was enough...im not trying to make this one of those posts, really just wanna highlight to myself and to anyone that cares about me that where my life has gotten to is bullshit, people arent suppose to have spent years the way ive spent years - compromising while swearing not to compromise - allowing laziness to define the threshold of experience you offer yourself...its just that all this time i've always felt that it didnt matter how far i reached, that the world wasnt willing to meet me half way...wasnt willing to let me be a little bit of a weirdo and still elicit a goddamn moment of personal gratification in the form of another's appreciation for me - I'm lucky to have friends that push me to understand new things about myself, but its frustrating building a resume of changes you've gone through without any existential content to convince you that any of its worth it! I may have fucked myself over the past couple years, but with a guy like me im more prone to think i was fucked over before i ever could get to myself

you said it right brother, we dont want to die we just dont want to exist

never gonna do this

Sun, 09 Aug 2009 11:05:57 GMT

i feel like dissecting something...its like, a website, cause there arent any websites that offer guidance for existential dilemmas or whatever you wanna call em, like, "how to hang around people you just dont get" or "what does it mean to have an insistent inner dialogue regardless of the context", all you can go to are social networking sites, or figure your own way of doing whatever to keep on, but my point is, to make a destination for the disenfranchised....to offer up plenty of expository inclusions, really get good and rhetorical on em, like were one of them...cause we are...blah blah, anyways, itd just be basically resource guide for modern ideas for modern people, if i can be so bold as to say that...to offer up links to book lists, or just youtube videos with inspiring materiel, some sort of unifying elements im sure...and to not get negative and start cutting it down, i just feel compelled to keep it positive as far as not detracting from the purpose of helping other people, and that its us, or its whoever, that is concerned and feels for em...the point is to use the medium we have as a launching of something thatd help people who have lost hope in anything designated to help them...think itd work?

Thu, 30 Jul 2009 09:50:20 GMT

i want to know what it is that we all want, what love would actually look like in the barest way it could if people embraced it, if we wiped away our need to fear everyone and what they could be to us, down to the darkest psychoanalytic notion of comfort, what everyone purging in unison would look like, a gigantic green light striking everyone in the world at once...writhing...swelling...loving...peace of mind in unison